When I moved out for the first time at 19 I had a handful of belongings. Most fit in a couple of shoe boxes but my family made sure that I had what I needed to start out with. One of those things was an old hand me down couch that pulled out into a bed.
Opening up the seats revealed an old pull out mattress that had a metal bar straight through the middle that would dig into your back every time you slept on it.
Every year around tax time, if I got a tax return, I would have just enough money to buy 4 items. A new shower curtain, a matching toothbrush/soap dispenser set, a new bathroom rug and a couch cover. Being able to purchase these things was a very big deal to me then. Especially the couch cover. I would stretch it over the old worn out fabric and within minutes I would have a brand new look. A flower or stripped pattern of navy and burgundy (it was the 90’s ya’ll) would hide all of the flaws and faded colors of the couch.
But every night I would have to strip back that couch cover and unfold all of the parts to create a bed. Even though that metal bar hurt like hell, it was still a place of comfort. No matter how many different couch covers I bought over the years, one thing remained the same- the broken down couch underneath.
Finally one day, I decide to fix it. I found a way to fix the metal bar and added some egg foam padding. The padding made it hard for the mattress to fit in the hideaway and the couch cover no longer fit but I suddenly didn’t mind. I loved that I had fixed that old couch and I loved that it had continued to be a familiar place for me to go to. To rest. I no longer had to strip back the cover to reveal the sturdy structure. It just sat there, with all of its faded colors and bumpy seats, inviting all who visited to sit a while.
We might have a broken metal bar right down the middle of our backs. Our colors might be faded. We might feel broken down and used. It’s easy to throw on that new shiny cover and hide what’s underneath but someday that cover won’t fit anymore because the work we have done will no longer allow for it to fit. All that will be left will be us. Sturdy, solid, us.
It’s time to uncover what is underneath
Do the work, fix what you can and accept what you can’t. Couch covers never stay put anyhow 💕