Standing Ovation When You Can’t Stand It

I watched the Super Bowl on Sunday. Have you ever watched a losing team high five the winning team? All in a row? High five after high five after high five? You think that shit isn’t hard? It’s gut wrenching.

I’ve watched people who I love win big wins while I’ve cried tears of joy for them and tears of pain for myself.

I’ve felt a lump of envy and jealousy and defeat freeze solid in my chest while smiling and congratulating someone who whole heartedly deserves the recognition while wondering if I’ll ever be seen.

I want these words to come at you gently but fiercely....you can still cheer someone on even when it hurts. You can still sit in the pew at your best friends wedding and genuinely wish her well while your heart is shattered by your recent breakup. You can still hold your sister in law’s brand new baby boy and let your heart soften while it’s being crushed by infertility. You can still hit the like button on social media when someone posts that they closed on their dream house while you’re still figuring out if it’s ramen noodles or a pbj for dinner. You can still show up for the people you love even when it’s hard. You can still cheer them on even when it hurts to clap.

You see, their win is not your loss. It might feel like it but it’s not. In fact, it has nothing to do with you at all. Here is what I want you to remember if you’re currently a seething green eyed monster (I have been so it’s ok to admit)

1. We are not on the same page, chapter or word of this book of life. Don’t compare your day 400 to their day 4,000. Celebrate your 400 and be damn proud!

2. There’s room for all of us. What you have to give is unique and no one else is like you. No one. Keep working hard. Keep praying. Keep finding ways that you can grow. Keep looking for opportunities that serve you.

3. Let someone else’s joy give you hope. It may not be happening for YOU right now but now you know that it’s absolutely possible. Let it fuel you to do all of #2

4. Remember how it feels when something amazing happens to you. Remember there is someone out there that is feeling a punch to the gut because of your win. Do you want that for them? No. Does it mean you stole away someone else’s joy? No! So don’t let someone else’s win do that to you.

What I’m asking you to do is one of the hardest life lessons there is to learn. It’s also an incredible measure of growth, maturity and goodness and believe me when I say, the universe will see this and want to reward you for it. Like a circle of good. What comes around goes around....let it be good karma.

I see you out there....hands burning & blisters forming. Long painful, stinging, clap after clap. Soon though, that pain will heal and you’ll be stronger for it. Learning to pick someone else up when you’re all out of strength is one of the most beautiful things we can learn to do as humans and I believe in you.

Constantly cheering for you & sending you all kinds of love- 👏👏👏

𝒳𝒪𝒥𝑀